June 26, 2010 Fun Russian Facts

Posted in Rodger's Russia Book | Posted by rodger |

Old Style Russian toilet paper is brown, unperforated, and has a texture suitable for removing rust from a chrome bumper. It is also thick enough to be springy, and is still the most common paper used. New Russian toilet paper is white, still not perforated, soft, and still springy.

As real beds are now becoming common, there are some full sized and queen sized blankets for sale in the marketplace. However, every Russian home is stocked with the old blankets. They are between a beach towel and a single blanket in size and if you are more than 5’5”, they give you three choices: Cold feet, cold head, or two blankets.

A few restaurants and businesses now offer free toilets. However, most toilets – including those in public facilities like bus stations are pay toilets, and the price is going up. There are no coin slots.  An old babushka sits in front of the bathroom with a roll of toilet paper and change. Three years ago, it was 5 rubles (about 15 cents), now it is usually 10 rubles and sometimes as high as 12 rubles. That’s 30 cents a pop, or a pee. That means that a 67 year old man who is traveling can spend $5.00 a day on pee fees.

I am considering a new comedy act. “You might live in a village if,,,”

The milkman comes every morning at 6:30 am to deliver a gallon of milk in a large mouth jug. At 4:30 AM it was still in the cow.

Putin’s name translates as ‘The Way”. (Obama must be jealous.)

Medyebev’s name translates as “Bear”. (Considering his size, his first name should have been “Teddy”.)

Russia’s most famous author, Tolstoy, translates as “Fatso”

In Russian, “Red Square” is pronounced “Krasney Plushit” – and sounds a lot better in English.

In Socialist Russia, contracting any STD was a crime. The police picked you up, placed you forcibly in a hospital, and kept you there until you were cured. I’m not sure that I can argue with that. Cubans used the same system to virtually eradicate AIDS in their country.

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